My partner and I met in our mid twenties and were together for 4 years before we got married. I was finishing University so we felt it was best to wait, plus I wouldn't be able to get OSAP if we were married, so that was an added bonus. We got married in July of 2012. We knew we wanted to started trying for a family right away so in August of 2012 we bought baby name books and 'what to expect' books and set to the task. Little did we know that it wasn't going to be that simple. We even went on our honeymoon in October of 2012 (you know that vacation that is a miracle impregnator- new word?). At the same time we were TTC I was also experiencing chronic pain that was increasingly getting worse and in January of 2013 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. We continued TTC while I started a new job and we moved to a new city, taking a break here and there due to the stress of it all. After approximately a year and a half of being unsuccessful we sought a consultation from a fertility clinic.
We went through the testing and monitoring cycles and found out that on paper we are healthy as a fiddle, so we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. They did discover that my progesterone levels were low, but did not feel that was the cause of our struggles. So at the recommendation of our clinic we proceeded with 2 cycles of Letrozole and timed intercourse. We then moved onto 2 cycles of IUI, producing 2 to 3 follicles for each. When these also failed we underwent further testing. I had a laprascopy to rule out endometriosis, which it did. Then it was onto IVF for us. Our first IVF we retrieved 10 eggs, 5 of which fertilized and we had 3 make it to CD 5. We transferred 2 embryos for the fresh transfer, which failed and then transferred our remaining embryo in an FET (frozen embryo transfer) which also failed. We took a few months off to regroup and I worked on reducing inflammation in my body, which is a big component on fibromyalgia.
I had also fallen into a bit of a depression and needed to work on getting myself out of it. I started the Paleo diet and was able to lose 20 lbs. We also ensured my TSH levels were stable as they had been all over the place and I started taking Vitamin E and D. I had an MRI to rule out adenomyosis, I also had a hysterscopy and endometrial biopsy, all coming back normal. Our new diagnosis was recurrent implantation failure. In November of 2015 we went forward with IVF #2. We retrieved 10 eggs but this time ALL 10 fertilized, 7 making it to CD 5. We transferred 2 again for our fresh cycle and for the first time in nearly 3 1/2 years we had a positive beta!! We had a couple bleeding scares early on, but overall it was an uneventful pregnancy, our little peanut was determined to stick it through for the long haul. When I was 29 weeks pregnant I had gone in for a routine scan and they discovered that my cervix was open. The OB on call at the hospital did a examination and told me that I was in fact closed and there was no need for concern. I pushed for a second opinion so my midwife made a referral for me. I went to McMaster University Hospital exactly a week later, where they informed that not only was my cervix open, I was 4 cm dilated. Unfortunately, that was the point of no return in regards to treatment, so I was placed on hospital bed rest as my little one was a footling breech, which meant an emergency c-section. I hung on for 3 weeks and my son was born 24 hours after I made it to 33 weeks gestation.
Thankfully he was strong and only needed minimal interventions and mostly time to grow. He spent 3 weeks in hospital and was discharged just before 36 weeks gestation. He is now a thriving 2 year old who has been worth every moment of heartache and pain, and there has been many.
We have since returned to the clinic to use our remaining embryos and try for #2. In August of 2017 we had our first FET and transferred 2 beautiful hatching embryos. We got our second ever BFP and were so ecstatic. Unfortunately, I had some bleeding and felt that this was different than my previous experience. I was right. We lost the pregnancy shortly therefore at 5 weeks. Our first chemical. I went back to work in September, so we decided to wait a couple of months before we tried again. In December we transferred 2 more beautiful hatching embryos and again, got another BFP which resulted in our 2nd chemical at 5 weeks. We now only have 1 embryo left and have held off so I could focus on work and getting myself in a better frame of mind. We have decided to move forward with our remaining embryo this fall and I can't lie, I am so incredibly fearful the same thing is going to happen again. When we first started TTC we envisioned 3 or 4 little ones running around. Now I feel we will be considered extremely lucky to have our 1. We still aren't sure what the future holds for us if this does fail, we so desperately want another child but not sure our hearts can take much more of this. In the meantime we continue to trug along!
You can follow along with Courtney's journey on Instagram at thelittleembryothatcould, or on her blog at http://lifesjourneytryingtoconceive.blogspot.com/2014/04/where-to-being.html